matt nathanson

i have a few of his cuts but this one is complimets of jp-
thx ..its a gooder

lost your shirt in the credit crunch? buy plain white

watching the noon hours news, they aired a piece on a trend thay say is driven by the credit crunch...the return to the plain white shirt. and just when you thought this was a better way to go as most men are challenged when it comes to fashion...voila! more choices than ever... thomas pink of london has a " white shirt bar". a nice beaded fitted one costs a mere L250 , while a simple version at L75. see gq.com

they actually tried to make a correlation between being less flashy due to the credit crunch and as a financial advisor; people see men who wear basic white as more trustworthy .

2009

as we enter the next year i love to look for a glance into the future. the greatest thing about the internet is that you can search and find exactly the opinion, attitude, proof or disproof on any subject. so this morning i went in search of my 2009 destiny...i like these two the best.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It s time to celebrate yourself, Taurus! You are pouring yourself into your life s mission and rejuvenating yourself with abundant thinking, which attracts great things to you. You re diligently creating a public arena where opportunities will emerge for you to be a teacher or messenger. Engagements for speaking, writing and sharing your thoughts will open up. Other people will be inspired by your enthusiasm and insight, and will support you in accomplishing your goals.

Taurus s excitement radiates more than ever this year, bringing with it a magnificent energy the world has been lacking. As you embrace the power of your heart and spirit, you are allowing yourself to transform and align with a universal energy source. You discover the space for your creativity to flow and abundantly bring the truth of your being into the world. Your focus on your connection with a higher purpose brings out the best in you and refines your self-expression.

You appreciate all the expansive shifts that are taking place in your life, and you are learning to break up routines and old patterns of rigidity. This allows you a new level of awareness and acceptance of your ultimate purpose. Pay attention to what has heart and meaning. Express your truth and you will advance. You will find avenues to bring your talents and belief systems to philanthropic endeavors. By the end of the year, you will be able to slow down a bit and find more time to enjoy the new you that you have created.

compliments of yahoo.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TAURUS
Ruling Planet: Venus
Symbol: The Bull
Element: Earth
Color: Blue, pink

In 2009 ambitious Jupiter will move into your work and career sector, expanding your professional and personal horizons. This planetary transit is an agent for achievement, advancement and professional recognition. However, disciplined, no-joking Saturn is laying down the ground rules and will demand hard work and focused determination. The combined energy of these two power planets will gently nudge (or force) you into a new lifestyle, career or relationship. Your reward? Stability, new horizons and growth.

The year begins on a chaotic note and life may seem like a traveling circus with you trying to juggle everyone's changing moods and your own work load. Your organization skills will be one of your tools for success, and when your ruler savvy Venus starts to kick down doors in June, you will be ready to step through.

Because the Bull is endowed with style and substance, a true heart and trustworthy soul, this year stay true to your nature and friends will line up seeking your wisdom, company and sage advice. You are a demanding perfectionist with the soul of a mystic. This year your mantra should be: Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible.

2009 Taurus Love Match: Because demanding Saturn is directing the show in your relationship sector until October, this is a serious year for love. In a secure, committed relationship, you can reach a deeper bond through communication and thoughtfulness but do expect Saturn to bring up any weakness or flaws which, once recognized, can be overcome or repaired.

If you are single this year, a Virgo or Scorpio could share your serious mood or a fiery Leo or Aries could awaken your passions. But until September, watch out for a few irrational planetary surges. Otherwise, you could mistake a new infatuation for true love or vice versa. This year, give yourself time to test the mettle of yours and another's devotion.


compliments of lavalife.com

bollocks really! all i want is to wake up each day to good health and the occassional hot forecast.

ready for spring

xmas snow, too much food, family hugs, wii pain and tipsy-ness

ok, so boxing week shopping...ughh i say...crowds, more ugghs...but the girls wanna go..so we go.. hit a few of my favs like mexx, la senza and golf town. go up to jp's house to suit up ...and well, here are some of my scores! ...new golf threads ...picked some great deals up...and now so looking forward to spring! right after i ride, which is this next weekend for sure.

the gloves and pink clubs are jp's but they did match...lol.

bring on the new year, a new life and change that is positive.sending good energies to all. please send only back the same.

river road sightings

each morning i drive river road. this boat has been a constant in my daily commute. i keep waiting for it to dissolve and sink below the surface. not today tho, it is beautiful as it sits cradled by the icy fraser river.

as i stood on the edge to take the picture i could hear the sound of the ice creaking and moving as it fights the strong current that pulls it west. it was a surreal moment. death of a vessel and the life of the river.

the craziness of it all

the snow, OMG the snow. the city is covered in a blanket of white. figures stumble through the snow trapped sidewalks as if they are drunk. they wobble, they toss and do a version of the chicken dance just to keep from falling!

and the streets...the streets became greasy fun. but the vision is so darn pretty!
the rest of the country giggles and points..but a white Christmas is worth the hard times here on the west coast.
there are others who live in the sun, or visit the desert at this times of year. they are jealous for sure.

2ma

way back in feb, i had a nasty sinus infection doubled up with a beauty of a bronchial germ war. well since that day i have been unable to smell anything! ok, not entirely true- some colognes and perfumes can get in but very few. it has been a weird run. no turkey baking or fresh pie smell, no summer breeze from the ocean, no scent of clean sheets or skin adversely no nasty smells either.
today i saw the e.n.t. doctor finally!
after the lovely sinu-cam experience...next steps:
prednisone
mri

not good.


perhaps this explains a few things of late, ya like how i spent some time in stupidville...

note*if i am going out now or later in life, then all who read this should know , i expect to be unplugged by one of you if i end up in a coma . that is not a quality of life i would enjoy
if i want to die; i hope one of you will honour my request and assist

heather nova-london rain

wtf flavour is that?

blue candy canes...have you tried one? wtf...what is that taste?

kinda like "grape" really
zero food reference to actual food

cause does the grape actually taste like any grape you have either eaten or drank? how about the blueberry? not me!

blue tastes like, well blue and grape, well tastes like grape
and who decided this anyways?

winterscape

ok, today is one of those fab days where all around you the world is a new. i love it when is snows here in vancouver. the air smells different, the scene is transformed and people are more friendly. i started my morning at about 630, brisk walk to the far side of town for a vente latte, read the local rag while sitting outside and walked home to the sound of crunching snow.

the pic is from my balcony looking east .....

amos lee..

colours

and so this is xmas

on the day that snow is predicted to fall in vancouver...



i am in the xmas mode:
lights on the jeep...
belly full of eggnog lattes...
ear full of holiday music..
warmth of a fleece scarf
pleasant thoughts of family and very special friends...

and my fav part of the season...
handfuls of mini mandarins!

betty page

Betty Page, the brunette pinup queen with a shoulder-length pageboy hairdo and kitschy bangs whose saucy photos helped usher in the sexual revolution of the 1960s, has died. She was 85.

Page, whose later life was marked by depression, violent mood swings and several years in a state mental institution, died Thursday night at Kindred Hospital in Los Angeles, where she had been on life support since suffering a heart attack Dec. 2, according to her agent, Mark Roesler.
A cult figure, Page was most famous for the estimated 20,000 4-by-5-inch black-and-white glossy photographs taken by amateur shutterbugs from 1949 to 1957. The photos showed her in high heels and bikinis or negligees, bondage apparel -- or nothing at all.

Decades later, those images inspired biographies, comic books, fan clubs, websites, commercial products -- Bettie Page playing cards, dress-up magnet sets, action figures, Zippo lighters, shot glasses -- and, in 2005, a film about her life and times, "The Notorious Bettie Page." Her willingness to portrait female sexuality with power and with kink has made her a pop culture icon for the fetish community.

Then there are the idealized portraits of her naughty personas -- Nurse Bettie, Jungle Bettie, Voodoo Bettie, Banned in Boston Bettie, Maid Bettie, Crackers in Bed Bettie -- memorialized by such artists as Olivia de Berardinis. "I'll always paint Bettie Page," De Berardinis said Thursday night . "But truth be told, it took me years to understand what I was looking at in the old photographs of her. Now I get it. There was a passion play unfolding in her mind. What some see as a bad girl image was in fact a certain sensual freedom and play-acting - it was part of the fun of being a woman."

"The origins of what captures the imagination and creates a particular celebrity are sometimes difficult to define," Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner said Thursday night. "Bettie Page was one of Playboy magazine's early playmates, and she became an iconic figure, influencing notions of beauty and fashion.
In 1967, she married for a third time. After that marriage ended in divorce 11 years later, Page plunged into a depression marked by violent mood swings. She got into an argument with her landlady and attacked her with a knife. A judge found her innocent by reason of insanity but sentenced her to 10 years in a California mental institution. She was released in 1992 from Patton State Hospital in San Bernardino County to find that she had unwittingly become a pop-culture icon. A movie titled "The Rocketeer" and the comic book that inspired it contained a Bettie-esque character, triggering a revival, among women as well as men, that continues unabated. It has been estimated that over 20,000 photographs of Bettie have been taken. To date, she has not received ongoing royalties for her numerous photos and other merchandise. This is still in process through her estate and family lawyer.
____________________________________________________

"I was not trying to be shocking, or to be a pioneer. I wasn’t trying to change society, or to be ahead of my time. I didn’t think of myself as liberated, and I don’t believe that I did anything important. I was just myself. I didn’t know any other way to be, or any other way to live."


Betty Page

____________________________________________________

because i am really a geek

okay. so xmas decorations at my place is limited to one string of amber led lights on my balcony. oh and of course.. lights on the jeep again this year.
and well today i dug through the overcrowded unmatched sock drawer to find these lil gems!
xmas socks..no other apparel thank you! but these are too funny and go with my black patent shiny shoes.

"theres no place like home, theres no place like home"

great lake swimmers - your rocky spine

a good listen

amy macdonald - mr rock and roll

catchy tune...

the river

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green
I'm going to make a lot of money
Then I'm going to quit this crazy scene
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river I could skate away on
I made my baby cry

He tried hard to help me
You know, he put me at ease
And he loved me so naughty
Made me weak in the knees
Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on

I'm so hard to handle
I'm selfish and I'm sad
Now I've gone and lost the best baby
That I ever had
I wish I had a river I could skate away on

Oh, I wish I had a river so long
I would teach my feet to fly
I wish I had a river
I could skate away on
I made my baby say goodbye

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
I wish I had a river I could skate away on

spirts that surround us

had a conversation at lunch today with a friend...we talked of ghosts and spirits..and how most believe that they exist if they have unfinished business with you or the place you share...

got me 'thinkin..is it possible to have such spirits that are part of the living world..the ones who walk close with you daily...arrive in your thoughts without permission...these too may be the ones with unfinished business?

how do you send them away in peace? or find peace in ones self?

interesting...i would think you would need to allow those spirits to speak in some form in order to find peace? if the spirit is unable to speak then does in fact walk the world with eternal internal unrest? and how does that affect ones aura? and the host to which the spirit seeks solace but is unable to find it...how do they find peace and reconciliation?

dunno, just a crazy thought really...or one that needs more thought..i know my thoughts can be very crowded at times.

josh radin-closer

couldnt get the official video...but worth a listen

how the day sounds- greg laswell

shared music is good

ok i caved

yes, it is true..i just bought my first game system...seems odd considering i am such a techno geek really, to be such a late conformer..but i must say wii fit ROCKS

i am sore today from boxing, yoga, running, tennis, balance exercises, stretching and all other manners of physical challenge

but man is it fun. they really are on to something here...the way that we interact with technology today is quite remarkable...

the good:
my BMI is great- height and weight proportioned for my age
the bad:
wii age which is a combination of current age, weight, agility , stamina and balance..my wii age is 63! i will be so working this asap!! stay tuned
the ugly:
my batting average

so, i highly recommend this unit as an alternative to running in the morning in the rain. i will continue to run when it is ok outside but am liking this new way to build my flexibility and balance.

because wanting is just as lovely has having

your world.right now

today we lost a Canadian icon; Ted Rogers Jr.

now may of you may not understand the depth of the rogers influence on todays wireless world...

his father, ted rogers sr :
In the early 1920s, radio transmitters and receivers ran on large and expensive batteries to provide the high voltages needed for the vacuum tubes used. Early attempts at producing a radio receiver to operate on household alternating current were unsuccessful, since tubes designed for the direct current supply from batteries were unsatisfactory when operated on 25- or 60-hertz alternating current. The batteries were also extremely large.

In April 1924 Ted Rogers Sr travelled to the United States and saw experimental AC receiving tubes at the laboratories of Westinghouse in Pittsburgh. He purchased the patent rights to the experimental alternating current tubes of Frederick S. McCullogh. After further development Rogers produced a design of vacuum tube that would operate on alternating current. By 1925 Rogers had introduced not only a complete radio receiver using the new tubes, but had also produced a "battery eliminator" (power supply) that could be used with other manufacturers receivers to eliminate the expensive batteries. By August 1925 the Rogers Batteryless radio was in commercial sales, the first radio receiver in the world to operate from household current (and thus the introduction of the radio into the home). At a time when a schoolteacher might earn $1000 per year, the top-of-the-line Rogers radio sold for $370. Rogers formed the company "Standard Radio Manufacturing" (later Rogers Vacuum Tube Company) to produce radio receivers using the new design of vacuum tubes."

one mans vision is now the Canadian face of communications to the world!
impressive really...the biggest wireless network in canada
5 tv stations
52 radio stations
theshoppingchannel
the blue jays baseball team
70 consumer and trade publications
260 video stores
250 communication stores including fido
cable company
rogers center and sportsnet
200 dealers

i know those of you who will still use me as your personal rogers whipping boy when your cell bill comes in..and i am ok with that...

joe purdy - cant get it right

what does the future hold?

www.facade.com/tarot

just had quite the reading done on line..
didnt tell me anything i didnt already know, past is past, people are people, furture is a path choosen out of courage..although the part about being... well i cant say that out loud...just set the message in a very pretty and mystical way...

okay just fun on a raining friday afternoon

old school - out with analog tv signals

ok so that big black bulky tv in your basement or that wee 12' tv in your kids room will soon need to replaced..if you want to use it for regular tv programs. however it will still be useful for the kids who huddle in the basement playing video games for hours on end

HOW DO I KNOW IF I HAVE AN ANALOG OR DIGITAL TELEVISION?
To find out if you have an analog or digital television, you need to check your television set to identify whether you have an analog or a digital tuner.

To do so, start with your owner's manual. If it is not listed in the manual, contact the retailer where you originally purchased the television. Note that your manual may not use the terms "digital tuner" or "analog tuner". A digital tuner could also be listed as "ATSC tuner". An analog tuner could also be listed as "NTSC tuner".

Sets with integrated digital or digital/analog tuners will continue to receive over-the-air digital television once the transition has taken place.
Sets with an analog tuner will no longer receive over-the-air television once the transition takes place without the addition of a set-top converter box.
If your set does not have a tuner at all, then you have a monitor rather than a television.


so perfect timing with a poor economy to upgrade to a sexy new flat screen that you can hang on the wall. you will need to replace them before feb 09

or not upgrade considering there is so much crap out there called "entertainment" ..im just saying that reality tv and pathetic games shows or the like says alot about our current society..and when they mention this generation in social studies years from now they will not be surprised by the drop in average grades for young people..com'on, what is the biggest looser really?

winter shift

speaking on winter..tomorrow rick is gonna help mw install the winter by pass stuff so mike can sit through the cold without risk. now i had planned on a trip for new years, and not saying i cant still do that...but..so vegas with the girls looks more attractive for sure...viva la new years!

tonight is drinks with dwight and angelle. they are part of the camper clan and moved back to NS back in the summer...will be almost 20 of us there, fun!

other winter stuff, taking my board in next week...soon we ride

the sauna in my building was just cleaned and tuned up...love to sweat

sunday hooking up with new friends to discuss the general state of life over afternoon lattes... speaking of which, i ordered a eggnog latte today as the s/b's holiday drinks equal a donation to the "red" globalfund.org and have to say...sugar in my coffee in any way does not impress me at all.

thought of the day- we are blessed; no terrorists blowing up our hotels and killing people senselessly. hug the ones you love today and say a prayer for those who cant hug the ones they love

whats love got to do with it?

so having drinks with friends the other night...a grand discussion on the topic of love and what makes it work. it was interesting as the table was equally divided between those of us who are single and those who are married/hooked up.

ideas were tossed about related to what it means to love someone…from compromise, forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance to indifference. and what it means to feel love, understand love and when needed, let go of love.

well, as many people know i am by far no expert in this matter so articulating much at all makes me stumble and stutter like charlie brown and the lil red haired girl. i think hard and find words such as respect, adoration, creation, connection and good conversation at the end of the day over a decent glass of wine......
i am such a simpleton!


and then my pal of many years summed it up beautifully:


“Love is not finding a perfect person, it is seeing an imperfect person perfectly”

the bitch is back!

Insomnia!
She is a nasty wench really. She chooses to wake me at 3am each night to ensure consistency in my day time zombia. I need not even roll over and look at the clock anymore..it never varies more than 5-7 minutes. Trust me I have tried everything, pills, drink, stay up late, go to bed early, exercise, no exercise, books, hot baths etc.

I am getting tired of living with her…she makes my life hell. I toss and turn for an hour and a half then fall into r.e.m. so hard that when the alarm goes off I swear it takes me minutes to actually register it in my head. I force my groggy ass to the kitchen, make a pot of strong coffee and shuffle to the shower...which is done with my eyes closed.

With toothbrush in hand I stare into the mirror and identify the puffy eyes with getting/looking older for some reason. Push the edges of my cheeks up and consider wee tucks here and there….and then , not.

I wake up fully somewhere around 10am. So for those of you who think I must be sick cause I am so quiet in the morning…shhhh; I am just sleepwalking.

and for no reason except it sounds happy and fun...

an inspiration to smile...so easy...

mv fleetwood - rum runner 1930

the family comes to visit, a new toy, broken truck,rum runnners; my weekend

so driving along last night, jeep full of family and the back brake calliper siezes! smoke and hot melted metal. parked it in richmond...then drove back today and thanks gawd for dave..got it running again. it was grand to have them all here at my digs...made a huge italian feast, set a table (which i must admit i had not done in a long time, hence the baseboards at behind the table)

well, it arrived....my sexy lil netbook laptop! fits in my bag, 2.5 lbs, 160G h/d...wirless, camera, sd ram slots etc. i friggin love it! my life now portable..it is so tiny.

mv fleetwood...a rum runner from years gone by.
in richmond yesterday.. went to the brittania shipyard at steveston. dave's dad bought a big wooden boat when he was a kid and ran fishing charters to alaska. well seems that boat was owned by nelson skalbania..and when it was built it was for running alcohol during prohibition years in the 30's. it was converted to a pleasure craft in the 50's..and now been donated to the shipyard museum. so we went out there a had a great tour of the site and boat...the volunteers are so passionate about the hand restoration....daves dad died at 48 so it was kinda like a link to his the memory of his childhood and his dad..was neat.

today hits some balls at the range...the sunshine was good on my face. reminds me that when things seem too dark, if you raise your eyes you will find the light.

greg laswell - Comes And Goes (In Waves)

another good one

matthew barber - morning light

to add to the collection, he has more.

three things happened tonight

~i met a wee wiener dog, grumpy and beautiful...and thot of simon
~i found a wee xmas bow on the ground; and felt sad as it had not yet found a present
~i cried all the way home as i held the wee bow

jesus. hormones gone crazy

tribe

tribe:
3. A group of people sharing an occupation, interest, or habit
4. Informal ;a large family.
thefreedictionary.com

the tibe getaway this past weekend was into the golden ears provincial park. rained a bit, tarp up, no worries
played with the kids and dogs at the lake...it was calm and so peaceful. the park is transitioning from fall to winter. this allows a visual feast of orange and yellow carpet of leaves backdropped by the lush green mossy trees and rich ferns.


the sense of family or tribe feels good. they , unlike some of late, understand and display the true sense of intention. when they say they'll always be there, always truly care, always stand by when you are hurting, always, without fail have only good to give; they mean it no matter what.i am so fortunate to have such a grand clan around me.

four/five things worth thought today

photo compliments of flickr.com

1- taliban who spray young girls with acid to keep them from going to school. imagine persecution on two levels; one being female and one wanting education. needless to say the school was empty today.terrorism calculated and effective. fuk we are lucky. imaging being afraid to send your kids to school?
2 - vanoc gets 140k requests for the mens gold hockey game tickets. not bad but there are actually only 4k seats. Olympics for the people who can and will pay. i got a problem there.
3 - kids today can die for the right to play addictive computer games. the young lad who ran away from home b/c his parents denied him the right to play. interesting; they had condoned the behaviour for so long that the attempt at intervention resulted in his death. a reminder that nothing replaces the one on one interaction with kids. and ultimately what you permit your promote
4- painkillers and red wine together are the only ways to handle the pain of an accident of the heart. no, really, i just wiped out running in the morning on a wet street..but it does help both pains.
5 - ok one more thing- a dog in the whitehouse gets more press than the first three things on this list- momentary lapse into awareness in-fuk-n-deed!

o.a.r.

nuff said.

full moon

...not to be confused

there are legends and myths that say the movement of the moon effects us human folks.crime rate goes up, violent acts increase and those who are otherwise calm can do things out of the ordinary...well, being in hr i can tell ya that i see all of the above each and every full moon.

i believe it effects us greatly...in fact, i am aware and it is no wonder i am so emotional of late! lol

edit and update from my friend ED:
this is known as full beaver moon - November.. this was the time to set beaver traps before the swamps froze, to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. another interpretation suggests that the name full beaver moon comes from the fact that the beavers are now actively preparing for winter. it is sometimes also referred to as the frosty moon.

ps i love you

i think it is important to have a goal; something to look forward to...
so confirmed my trip into palm springs today...two weeks in the sun...
golfing, exploring and of course searching for that ultimate real estate deal...hooked up with a realtor...so let that housing market continue to drop...

cant wait...spring seems so far away...might have to get a trip into mexico before then...

never take a minute of each day for granted

i have been through some pretty bad shit this year..people have been unkind, life has been unfair and i have lost my sense of who i am, had car issues,work struggles, had a few bad colds but nothing compares to my sister in laws pain. she is a double BCS...yes twice the nasty beast has attempted to take her from us!

this past saturday was a celebration of her life...50 years young and still alive and healthy. the family planned a grand party in quallicum beach (being there sent me into yet another whirl of my own mental unhealthiness) and 125 people showed up to dance and party the night away.from as far away as halifax and as far back as her best friend since 6th grade.

becky was surprised and tearful for the many grand family and friends that were present that night. she is an avid dragon boater and her entire team was there as well. crazy gals so full of life and they could dance me under the table.

it got me thinking...life is so fukn precious...lets not waste it living in hate or regret...cast away all that is heavy and drains you...cause at any moment all could be erased.

liberty grand

this week we had our national HR annual meeting. we partied at this grand hall called the "liberty grand". inside it is a masterpiece of decadence and grandeur. turn of the century building with marble floors, 30ft ceilings, solid wood period furniture and a bathroom as big as my condo. funny i grew up in TO and spent ever summer at the cne but dont recall ever being in this building. of course we sas'd it up with five station of wii for fun and a giant dance floor. so i had only two drinks all night b/c i was so busy kicking ass on guitar hero and tennis!

the subway

this week i am in toronto for work. it is the annual conference of h.r. peeps with the usual collection of merriment and learning. the event holds about 200 people so they tend to put us up at some fancy ass hotel that can house all the going-ons. so for two nights i could stay there, and the other nights stay where i usually stay at the marriott. i chose to stay at the marriott and travel to the events.

tonight there was a gig downtown at front and king. i walked down there, about 50 minutes but on the way back decided to ride the ttc. it is an interesting way to se the towns people...all types, all walks, all economic status and even some mexican tourists. i dont mind the opportunity to people watch so "taking the train" as they call it here, is soothing and entertaining.

tonight i rode thinking . and as the stations flew by and the train hiccuped and weaved through the tunnels i felt my heart skip a beat. the italian beauty who owns a piece of me rides with me daily no matter the city or the mode. and so it goes.

i must weigh in despite my "grey-ness"

i think politics are like religion ; dont go into this type of battle of wits unarmed.
the worlds waits for the voices of america to be heard...with this being said..i think we are at interesting crossroads in american history.

i will say only this; mccain is two feet from the grave and his back up has given SNL some of the greatest opportunities to make people laugh.

by default does this make the other guy a better choice...not sure i know enough to make a casting vote myself but my gut says....

snapshots and photographs

i want to walk the beach for hours
let the sound of the waves fill my head
and drown my thoughts

wind and sea whirl
silence is not the same as quiet

sand beneath my feet
footprints to follow back
in case i forget


how we got here

epiphany

Main Entry: epiph·a·ny
Pronunciation: \i-ˈpi-fə-nē\
Function: noun

3 - a (1): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure b: a revealing scene or moment

i had the most amazing day today- one of those moments with a treasured spirit where things, life, reason,events,reactions and other such things were given definition. i am so blessed by her presence in my world and so thankful for her ability to articulate all that i have not been able to.... i am walking taller.

emillie finds peace and forgives

___________________________________________________

"whatever words we utter should be chosen with care,
for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or evil.” Buddha
___________________________________________________
time and place is not always the right time and place.so forgivness comes easy.

fab day!

well i have not blogged in some time
my life got very complicated and draining.

all is behind me now. i am back at it.

heres a pic i took in fall of last year on hwy 3 on the way to the wine fest.......love the colours of this season!

deal

websters: deal (verb) >
3 a: to engage in bargaining : trade b: to sell or distribute something as a business

isnt it funny how some people make deals and they seem to not want to come through on?
understand that things may get in the way.. but if ya cant make good on the deal how do you make things right...?

is this too much to ask ..maybe so in a ever increasingly fly by night kinda world...

human nature- it aint so human and sometimes natural is relative.

fellow blogger

worth a visit...she is insightful and a great way to discover new music...
http://www.stephaniekiernan.blogspot.com/

better in time

unfortunately could not import the official video...these boys do a good job though.
link on the right.

lost my sniffer

back in feb of this year i had a killer sinus and bronchial infection...coming out of it i lost my sense of smell. not just a little but all of it!

then in august, having caught another nasty sinus infection i went to the doctor and complained, once again, of having lost a vital thing..my sniffer.

went for xrays, thought for sure it would be a brain tumor! nope. in fact the doctor was stumped and set about the process of referral to an ear-nose-throat specialist.
today i have confirmation for my appointment- DEC 4 2008!

i have a wee bit of it back- i can smell perfumes. i couldn't smell turkey or pie baking last weekend, or fresh coffee at my house or even a good hit of sewage that wafts through queensboro island at times...

and alas, i am likley not to smell pumpkin seeds baking in the oven come all hallows eve. but if lucky i may be able to by christmas.

my morning drive

river road, quiet and serene..often no more than 3-4 cars on it at the same time...
i cruise along and take in the sights. trees, the working river, the fields of crandberries or other such things become the pallet for my visual feast

today the sun was just coming up; brilliant , and shone into the darkness of the clouds above the city...thats what the photo is about. now a few hours later the sun is crisp and the sky blue...

i use this morrning drive time to to regroup my thoughts, arranage the day in my head and just plain chill...

today the musical score was jann arden " waiting here in canada" and i thought of my friend in holland- cj...does she miss living here?

emillie remembers

emillie walks on today finding every puddle to place her foot in that she can...she is aware of the discomfort that will occur but welcomes it just the same...the wetness that seeps up her shoes and her shins reminds her that contact creates memory..she knows the stains will be permanent


she fights hard ..so very hard to let go what has been.. and it tires her.
she replays, and replays the moments, the still frames and the loop tapes. she finds pain and finds joy and finds regret but finds no peace...

the words, the worlds,the events.. they swirl and suck her into the vortex of a raging river of feelings and she drowns in emotional dysfunction....she yearns to find only the happy thoughts, the moments of extreme pleasure and just plain contentment...
if the images arrive it is in snippets akin to a well developed photograph that has gone missing in a family album .. with the only reality of their existance displayed in small tiny ripped bits trapped in the paper corners holders glued to the weathered fragile pages

she longs for a moment of truth, a moment of exposure where caged personal demons yell and release all that is hurting... a circle of angry souls that scream and shout and claw feveroiously out of your body...

she places her hands to her face and starts to scratch, tearing at skin...she needs to bleed all that has been so very fucking wrong...she stops only when the tub water is ruby in colour


and the scars; they form on the inside.

turkey day and thoughts in Qualicum Beach

well, blessed are those who have love in their world!

spent the weekend hanging with the family...three generations, lots of food, drink and lots of laughter

we all went for breakfast at the ever famous shady rest eatery thats sits perched above the oceans edge. it is a non descript place as far as the food and experience, but the real treat is walking the length of beach that stretches out before it .

low tide gave us many grand sightings of lion-mane jelly fish held fast to the dry rocks and gravel. strange creatures, translucent and curious;they beg you to touch them. nancy, aka gramma, is a local writer and photographer who had just published an article on the jelly fish. she explained the presence of so many of them today. it seems the have a very short life cycle that begins in april and ends in october. the bright red hues are such a contrast to the grey gravel and rocks of the sea shore.

walking the beach alone with your thoughts allows some pretty deep thinking. i thought of how this year is coming to an end and how forward looking i have become. and most important of all people who have touched my world, both positive and with challenges, this past year. i am fully balanced, at peace and open to a new year. 2009 is my year says my sage...how grand is that thought?

so, with a turkey and pie hangover firmly planted on my hips i arrive home having been energised. the family celebrations are such a grand time of togetherness, story telling and memory making.

its back

last year, mid year or so , i started to experience changes in my sleep patterns. more so, interruptions in my sleep patterns. i would wake each night and roll over to look at the clock and sure enough, it would be 5 min before or 5 min after 330 AM.

the interruption is sometimes accompanied by sweats and remembrance of strange dreams...and if you share my space i will likely heat you out as my body temperature soars..

my friend, am, told me it was hormonal having expereinced it herself..... and then it went away.

they are back , fierce as ever...no matter what i do in the night, what i drink or dont drink, what i eat or dont eat, whether i exercise or dont, or have a bath or dont, or if there is stress in my world or joy....i find myself awake at 330 AM.

last night was brutal as i had to be up for 5AM...my eyes are burning today...and i am day dreaming of my four pillows, down comforter and clean crisp 600 thread count sheets. nap time is so needed.....


and i must never ever pick up my bby at this time, people do not understand or appreciate the interruptions in their sleep ...lol!

gawd when will it end?

Emotional Intelligence 101

sometimes blindness has nothing to do with our eyes

the power of words

sent to me by j@de. thanks for this.


After a While

After a while you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child

And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers

And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.

Veronica A. Shoffstall

what beauty surrounds us

man, what a beautiful day! i love the colours of fall, when the sun shines that is.
i hope it stays nice this weekend...heading to Qualicum Beach for dinner with the family. Turkey and all the fixin's.


eat til ya can't!

rilo: a man/me/ then jim

I had one friend in high school recently he hung himself with string
His note said
"If livin' is the problem, well that's just baffling."
And at the wake I waited around to see my ex first love
And I barely recognized her, but I knew exactly what she was thinking of
We sat quietly in the corner whispering close about loss
And I remembered why I loved her, and I asked her why I drove her off

She said
The slow fade of love
Its soft edge might cut you
And our poor friend, Jim
Well he just lived within
The slow fade of love

A woman calls my house once a week; she's always selling things
Some charity, a phone plan, a subscription to a magazine
And as I turned her down, I always do, there was something trembling in her voice
I said
Hey, what troubles you?
She said
I'm surprised you noticed
Well, my husband, he's leaving, and I can't convince him to stay
And he'll take our daughter with him, she wants to go with him anyway
I'm sorry I'm hard to live with, living is the problem for me
I'm selling people things they don't want when I don't know what you need

He said the slow fade of love
And its mist might choke you
It's my gradual descent
Into a life I never meant
It's the slow fade of love

I was driving south of Melrose; I happened upon my old lover's old house
I found myself staring at the closed up door like the day she threw me out
"Dianna, Dianna, Dianna I would die for you
I'm in love with you completely, I'm afraid that's all I can do"
She said
"You can sleep upon my doorstep, you can promise me indifference, Jim
But my mind is made up, and I'll never let you in again"

For the slow fade of love
It might hit you from below
It's your gradual descent
Into a life you never meant
It's the slow fade of love

rilo kiley - portions for horses

my fav sound right now....

fitting...for those who appear best in the rear view mirror...

best heard really loud...

fallen bobbles

i live about a block away from a city park. the area is eclectic with a mix of people. mostly white,hardly asian , the few loud mental health ghosts and a presence of Sudanese folks that add a ton of colour to the hood- and not only by skin but by garb.
the dwellings are assorted from beautifully maintained heritage homes to rental vintage apartment blocks, the ever growing new home construction to the usual collection of ugly vancouver specials.

the park is larger with mixed use. soccer fields, lacrosse courts,baseball, waterpark and the ever popular place to find crisp white suited seniors; the lawn bolwing club.most of us stare beyond the fence as entrance had not yet been gained due to the few too years on this earth.

this morning after i grabbed the java fix i strolled the hood. there is a path that runs diagonal across the park and it is lined with giant chestnut trees.this morning i choose the path. as you walk the ground is littered with chestnuts freed from their gnarly husks. the contrast of colour is amazing. the smooth deep brown lines of the nuts sit awkwardly upon the green and yellowed pieces of the husks. add in a touch of red fallen leaves and tapestry is breath taking.

i picked up the nuts today;had to. the clean smooth lines and brilliant veins of mixed light make you want to touch them. i remember as a kid...we used to take them, drill hoes in them and attach a bit of string. then we would use them to hit pop cans off fences or to ping each other in the head. i was thinking, when did this practice stop? i dont remember. although i surmise it was likely a change of season, literally and as we moved into young adults.

i tried my best to capture what i saw in the pic above. the nuts are cool in my hand. the tactile gratification of this is worth it. do it. pick one up.

first aid kit

hyjacked this from a fellow blogger... check out her site:
http://stephaniekiernan.blogspot.com/





"where are these people on american idol?

They aren't on American Idol because they've got actual talent and they have actual passion. And they've got their own eye-lashes. Yeah, they're never gonna make it on American Idol. Not even Canadian Idol. I hate television shows like that. Thank God for YouTube."
thanks steph...love it!

reactions

i have a great gal-pal who lives in holland...and we have been FB communicating ..she is wise...here is just a snippet of the words she shares

"and in stress situations, we usually revert back to the person we would rather not be. That's a hard thing to control. I would like to act differently in heated situations. I havn't mastered it yet..problem is that you don't get to practice it enough. It's not every day that situations get heated. I suppose you could take the things back if you wanted. "

i have been chewing on the words and thoughts...she is right, we just don't get much practice and if you are like me...i never have heat or stress in my world...i can count on one hand the times where i have had conflict in my life...but...this past year i have seen a string of events that were indeed stressful...

the new north wall

this is mostly finished..there was more work done that finished the window shelf and some detail around grout...hoping that am finds a moment to send through a pic of the last days work- it truly is a beautiful piece of work by both of us. we were a super team...all hands on deck no matter the job, we never had to argue or command...we fell into place like a true team. enjoyed the expereince so much! and for am, well her confidence soared! no longer just a pretty face...lol!

it is a thing of beauty and functioality, from sink to counter top to shiny dishwasher...a workspace fit for the family and the chef!

so, i am now available for do-it-yourself-coaching...tell your friends.

north wall before

wow where we came from.rotten wood and sink area, moldy wood cabinets, short counter top depth so no dishwasher could be installed, sink mount taps, no sprayer, and tile counter top perfect for hiding dirt and germs.

random thot

the picture above on the banner..i took it in blind bay, on the shuswap during a weekend of cleansing and connection. i spent most of the weekend alone in thot and on a beach of perfectness and quite. i took many photos that day and i did not know until tonight when i edited it, that it had a stone the shape of a heart within it.

the smoothness of the stone made me aware of how our hearts tumble and collide to a point of perfectly smooth edges. even tactile representations are with curve and smoothness...and no matter how hard you try, you cant help but allow your hands to travel the delicate, complete, never ending lines of a heart shaped world.


momentary lapse into awareness indeed.

times are tough

so after watching a flic about circuses, or the lack thereof, a walk on the seawall was the only option on a fab fall day.quite the change from images of big cats stranded and chimps who cook, to the vibrant energy of a city that has and gives so much.

sunshine on my face warmed my soul. positive energy abounded! people cant help but smile when a magical sunny day in vancouver presents itself.

crossing the intersection of denman and davie was this gal with a sandwich board...searching for a place to live.

the challenge she told me , when i stopped and asked permission to take her picture is; and she stated very firmly" there is a housing crisis". she supplied me with a small document stating their needs and particulars:
"young employed couple, with two cats, seek apartment, max $1300 per month"

there is a housing crisis for the employed and middle class ? christ what is it like to be poor and without a home in this rich city? now there is a housing crisis.


jeepers.

magic moments

while on the east side picking up a friend for the viff, passed by this well known toy store. they often have the bubble machine going...but this day, this day of perfect light and sunshine..i was able to catch a moment of calm and wonder.

cant help but smile.