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i have a great gal-pal who lives in holland...and we have been FB communicating ..she is wise...here is just a snippet of the words she shares

"and in stress situations, we usually revert back to the person we would rather not be. That's a hard thing to control. I would like to act differently in heated situations. I havn't mastered it yet..problem is that you don't get to practice it enough. It's not every day that situations get heated. I suppose you could take the things back if you wanted. "

i have been chewing on the words and thoughts...she is right, we just don't get much practice and if you are like me...i never have heat or stress in my world...i can count on one hand the times where i have had conflict in my life...but...this past year i have seen a string of events that were indeed stressful...