emillie walks on today finding every puddle to place her foot in that she can...she is aware of the discomfort that will occur but welcomes it just the same...the wetness that seeps up her shoes and her shins reminds her that contact creates memory..she knows the stains will be permanent
she fights hard ..so very hard to let go what has been.. and it tires her.
she replays, and replays the moments, the still frames and the loop tapes. she finds pain and finds joy and finds regret but finds no peace...
the words, the worlds,the events.. they swirl and suck her into the vortex of a raging river of feelings and she drowns in emotional dysfunction....she yearns to find only the happy thoughts, the moments of extreme pleasure and just plain contentment...
if the images arrive it is in snippets akin to a well developed photograph that has gone missing in a family album .. with the only reality of their existance displayed in small tiny ripped bits trapped in the paper corners holders glued to the weathered fragile pages
she longs for a moment of truth, a moment of exposure where caged personal demons yell and release all that is hurting... a circle of angry souls that scream and shout and claw feveroiously out of your body...
she places her hands to her face and starts to scratch, tearing at skin...she needs to bleed all that has been so very fucking wrong...she stops only when the tub water is ruby in colour
and the scars; they form on the inside.
No comments:
Post a Comment