emillie .....

we watched the leaves fall today and contemplate change. the colours of all that is new and renewed becomes lost in the transition of birth ;of death.
it is the knowingly slow difference between what we see and what is coming.the un - prescribed sense of shifting; unspoken yet predicable in nature, we greet the change as new and at times are in awe.
we walk and focus … our feet change colours as the fallen leaves pass over our boots. the sound of our steps becomes the score ; a musical direction of sorts. although each time our feet touch the earth it is different as we choose the highs and the lows based on the length and speed of our steps.each note written as the moment dictates.harsh steps, sullen placements or gentle connections with a forgiven softness,they become rhythmic; synchronized and we become connected in stride without conscience thought.

i am aware of the scents today and it sets the stage for the moment.i breathe in the scents of the coming winter through the smell of dead leaves swollen against a clogged sewer drain.
we walk with our heads down today and create no shadows. she is quiet in her exchange.

she exhales as she speaks. her breath creates a mist about our conversation and makes it private and intimate. ”what becomes of what we know when we have changed where we are?”

i find this thought uncomfortable yet familiar.i choose my words carefully almost protective in nature.

"the world is a tilt- a- whirl.we board, we experience, we let the ride end. and ultimately we decided how things affect us now versus before the ride began....how the momentary experience changes us and those around us. we decide; we essentially pick the ending to the storybook of the experience. and we reconcile the outcome at what ever the cost"


she sighs and speaks with purpose "should we let it hold us back in anyway? live in the past. should we acknowledge the moments, the good, the bad, the happiness, the perceived loves , the deceptions, the ultimate loss of promises undelivered? should it make us any less committed in the next step as we search to un-know the pain of the endings we don't like?”

i am silent, words elude me, my core shivers; this question begs for action and i have not the courage or the strength to think in forward terms, committed ideas…possibilities of the future reborn.i am transparent at the moment,a liquid being, mercury standing. i have no pulse.

i look into her eyes as my breath falls and becomes solid in the space between us.i squeeze my hands deeper into my pockets, fists tightens and my palms sweat.

the drain slowly opens.the leaves compress and i watch them disappear, aware that the earth eats its dead.

we stand frozen as the moment awaits a new beginning that only time can deliver.