emilie asks about love today..she wants to know all of it..the truths, the lies, the perceptions the missed connections, the frankness, the beginnings, then ends. the starkness of unsure acts,the intimacy, the illusions, the rights, the wrongs... i hold her thoughts in my head for a long moment..i take them apart and put them back together...words..how could we think without words...i cradle the words and pull them close, as if i can consume them like a favorite treat..slowly ,leaving the last morsel,the taste you want to be left with when is all done...
love..what is it all about..
i try to find the words but all i find are images of us..touching spirits dance a dance of secret cadence...her smile, her touch..the way our feet and hands meet when slumber creeps over us... the inside passages where physical meets spiritual...
i wonder what words emilie really wants to hear, can really handle...i watch as she watches me...waiting for devine explainations..waiting for clarity to file these questions...wanting comfort in exact definitions of light,dark,feelings,essence...
i shall start at the beginning..where the road starts and all street signs are free flowing and spin in the wind..where you think you are going one way then the wind of life moves the signs and you find yourself on a journey uncontrolled by you...a journey where inside seldom reflects outside..
i take my hand into the air and grasp for her ...imaginary, of course,
she cannot feel me...but the act comforts me...i pull her image into my hand and gently place over my heart...as my hand touches my chest..i feel love..
"take my hand she says"..and i do, "but not to tight she says..i am not sure of what i feel when you do that"...i say, well all things become more comfortable over time..she laughs..i laugh and we walk in silence as the light rain falls..
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