mother nature cleans house

it happens every year, although we are not usually aware of it. in a matter of a few days, sometimes less, the trees become naked and start their winter slumber. today mother nature is house cleaning. the wind whips through the city with such fearsness. the tress give up their leaves, the last few flowers sacrafice their pedals and the grass bends over towards a winters rest.
the sky is dark grey. for some it may seem a heavy day; for me it is a day of new beginnings. the winter season is upon us. today i walk through the windy streets , hot coffee in hand and look for all the signs that the world is ready for a long quiet sleep.

under foot

my buddy lynn and her daughter a.j. are staying with me on their way through to mexico. we woke this morning and my buddy says" lets do the floors". so here we are...the last of the reno's going through.

i have not touched my tools since the summer. i avioded them actually. today with hammer, saw,tape and crowbar in hand; i feel good. i forgot how much i enjoy working with my hands and the feeling of creating something.

two rooms down...and today i cant friggin move! my lower back and thighs are screaming at me! it is a dumb job, up and down for every plank it seems...
i spend too much time at a desk i think....

more writings - emillie

the day begins. light envelopes dark. the time machines forces the rhythm of our existence. sunshine warms us into the moment and the notice period of the future begins now.

emilie is excited today. she seems elated and beyond her own spirit. exuding a streaming band of lightness; it blinds me.


she is excited to talk today. i stand bonded to the moment and let her words cascade about me.

“there is but only two paths in life, what is and what has been. to attempt to see beyond this is futile and will result in frustration and energy misspent “. she dances in my shadow and her exuberance is charming.

she speaks without grammar, without the confines of expected prose. words drop like a waterfall of alphabet soup


“the most important thing is to be present. be completely there in the moment .avoid thoughts of consequence or be forever regretful. seize the moment. puncture your being and allow all that is now to gain entry into your soul. hold nothing back. immerse yourself in the emotion of the moment and without hesitation allow yourself to truly fall…”

we smile together, eyes locked as the thought is exchanged and lands deep within us.

…she reaches for my hand then changes her mind. she skips off and I find myself running to catch up…

river road sightings

i have shared a few photos of my drive west/east along the winding ashphalt of river road. this one is not the best image as i had to step onto private property to get this. this is another lost spirit left to disenegrate into the water's chemistry. this vessel rises and and falls with the swell of the rivers life. it seems to be unhappy to me, begging to be upright, struggling with the feeling of no control when resting on its side as this. it does not appear comfortable...the way we humans feel when we find oursleves on the ground without notice.

i think that all dwellings have a soul and they exude this when occupied. i feel a loss for this boat, i can image it in its full glory chugging up the mighty fraser in search of the next great fishing find or smiling as it hopes to pit its power against the strong and younger mighty tugs.

emillie asks about love today

emilie asks about love today..she wants to know all of it..the truths, the lies, the perceptions the missed connections, the frankness, the beginnings, then ends. the starkness of unsure acts,the intimacy, the illusions, the rights, the wrongs... i hold her thoughts in my head for a long moment..i take them apart and put them back together...words..how could we think without words...i cradle the words and pull them close, as if i can consume them like a favorite treat..slowly ,leaving the last morsel,the taste you want to be left with when is all done...

love..what is it all about..

i try to find the words but all i find are images of us..touching spirits dance a dance of secret cadence...her smile, her touch..the way our feet and hands meet when slumber creeps over us... the inside passages where physical meets spiritual...

i wonder what words emilie really wants to hear, can really handle...i watch as she watches me...waiting for devine explainations..waiting for clarity to file these questions...wanting comfort in exact definitions of light,dark,feelings,essence...

i shall start at the beginning..where the road starts and all street signs are free flowing and spin in the wind..where you think you are going one way then the wind of life moves the signs and you find yourself on a journey uncontrolled by you...a journey where inside seldom reflects outside..

i take my hand into the air and grasp for her ...imaginary, of course,
she cannot feel me...but the act comforts me...i pull her image into my hand and gently place over my heart...as my hand touches my chest..i feel love..

"take my hand she says"..and i do, "but not to tight she says..i am not sure of what i feel when you do that"...i say, well all things become more comfortable over time..she laughs..i laugh and we walk in silence as the light rain falls..

a little closer

okay, so at least i have purchased the flooring! it is a black flat walnut plank laminate, high quality so should go down easy and turn out very rich looking.

i am ripping up the carpet daily, stuffing it into lil bags and disposing of it discreetly so the "olds" that live in my building don't start to send me hate mail and fines! in the meantime, orange underlay and sculpted carpet is my decoration of choice! stand by, the rest goes really fast!

matters of the heart

there have been many discussions of late with several friends on the matter of love. people do and say things that sometimes others don't understand. and the most common response from someone who lives on the outside of the event(s) is "let it go, get over him/her". i know i have spoken such words many times...but for this i now say to those who may be hurting or confused... i understand ...because
" the mind has a thousand eyes and the heart but one"

OMG my Pearl died

anyone who knows me will understand how at a loss i am! i dropped my Pearl in a puddle (outside the casino- stop.that is another story). this unit is my life organized into a lil package of efficient technology. it is my connection to so many.
the part that breaks my heart is that i lost some very special pics and saved texts. these communiques were very special and i cried when i realized they were gone!

...getting back up and running today....

The Inukshuk

"The Inukshuk (pronounced IN-OOK-SHOOK) are landmarks and beacons once erected in the north to show the traveler their way in a very barren tundra. They endure as eternal symbols of guideance. They stand solid sharing and encouraging the importance of friendship and reminding us of our dependence upon one another. The traditional meaning of an Inukshuk was to act as a compass or guide for a safe journey. Today, this serves as a reminder that we always have a choice in the direction we choose to take in our lives."

as we head fast toward a new year i see this a message of sorts...i scan my landscape daily for any sign of direction...

mt baker

on my drive to work i am forced to deal with the most aggravating piece of road in this city : the queensbourgh bridge. the back up starts way up on 20th and doesn't let up until after howe ave on the island. i hate it. but there is one thing that makes it all livable...the view south of mt baker and the alex fraser bridge. especially when the sun is rising and the sky is an incredible hue of red and orange.

in just a few weeks it will be time to put the snowboard rack on the jeep again..yipppeee!